With warmer weather and wedding season quickly descending
upon us, I have started getting invites to upcoming weddings for family and
friends. This has made me think of a couple of important things to point out. Here are my Top 5, in no particular order:
1.
I always appreciate Save the Date cards! If you
have a tight budget I understand if you want to cut this, but there are ways to
do it cheaper. It’s not hard to print them yourself; Save the Dates can be as
easy as a post card. However, after experiencing this myself, I must remind you
that the Save the Date goes BEFORE the invitation. This is something that often
pulls double duty as a formal engagement announcement and tells your loved ones
that you have set a date and to expect an invitation. It is not meant to remind
people who have already RSVP-ed that they are expected to show up.
2.
This is a biggie: when to send invitations. All
the time I see brides getting over zealous and mailing out invites way too
early. Typically, invitations should go out four to six weeks before the
wedding, this is especially true if you have sent Save the Dates. The
exceptions to this are if you have a destination wedding (a real "destination," not just "driving in to the city," or "a few people live out of town") that people will have
to make travel plans for, or if you are having your event around a holiday, i.e.
Memorial Day weekend or around Christmas. In that case, eight weeks should do
it, though in these cases, a Save the Date is even more necessary. Sans these
exceptions, it is wonderful that you are so excited about the invitations you
designed or picked out, and that you are doing so well on your checklist by
having all of your envelopes addressed, but try to keep them in a safe place
and make yourself a reminder note for when it gets a little closer.
3.
I know I have mentioned this before, but please
do not list your registries on the invitation. Tacky! Make sure your family
knows where you are registered; word of mouth is incredibly effective. Also, I
always recommend a wedding website (see previous blog postings) and this is a
great place to put a direct link to your registries.
4.
Make it clear who is invited to the wedding. I’ll
talk more about how wording and addressing at a later date, but in the meantime
I must mention this briefly. Be clear on who is invited. “Mr. and Mrs. Nye” or
“Jori and Jordan Nye” or “Jori Nye and Guest” or “The Nye Family.” The first
two imply the two adults, the third is for a single person and allowing for a
date, the forth is inviting the family, kids and all. If you are asking for
people not to bring children, it is appropriate to make a note in the invitations
that you would prefer guests to over a certain age. It’s your day, you are
putting a lot of time, effort, and money into it, so if you would like it to be
adults-only that’s fair. In defense of couples with young kids, many will
choose to get a babysitter on their own. It is hard to be a guest at a wedding
and keep kids corralled! Do, though, at least consider hiring babysitters and
allowing guests to drop their kids off at a designated location. A hotel room
or small room at your reception venue works great. Compared to other expenses
of the day this would be quite minimal. Have guests RSVP for their children who
will be attending childcare, then book an appropriate number of sitters for the
children who will be attending. This
sends a fairly clear message that children should not be in attendance at the
wedding itself, but won’t alienate anyone. This is entirely up to you, it is
not something that is mandatory or even expected, but very appreciated.
5.
Make sure that you have listed a date that you
expect guests to RSVP no later than. You will always have stragglers, but most
people will try to be prompt. If you have a wedding website allow guests to
RSVP online. It’s easy, there is no paper trail, and as long as you don’t
forget your password you don’t have to worry about overlooking any responses.
Many vendors will be waiting for a final guest count, like your venue(s),
wedding planner, and most importantly your caterer. The RSVP date is typically
two weeks before the wedding. Any earlier and your guests may not have
arrangements made; any later and your vendors could have trouble with
arrangements on their end.
Of course, as with every aspect of
your wedding, enjoy! This is a moment where you are sending invitations to all
of your loved ones (and maybe some obligatory co-workers…and your parents’
friends…) to attend and support you on your most important day.
With Love,Jori Nye
